15th November 2021

You usually have to find things out for yourself I’m afraid, through a process of trial and error.
Although you can sometimes learn from other people, your true learning usually only takes place when you experience something for yourself. Learning is also generally through repetition.
The trick here is to always learn from any mistakes the first time around, if possible, and then try to never make the same mistakes again (or never to make the same mistakes in the same way again). However, mistakes (within reason) are often actually good for you, as that is how we often learn.
Also, accept situations for what they are and not what you want them to be. You usually never get it right the first time you try something. So, try to remember that you usually only get something right in the end, by getting it wrong a few times at first. However, be willing to try it again, knowing that, although it may not have worked out for you the first time you tried it, you will get better at it each time that you try it and should then succeed in the end, if you do not give up.
People like to recall how Thomas Edison, who only invented the light bulb on his 10,000th attempt, later said: “I have not failed 10,000 times, I’ve just successfully found 9,999 ways that will not work!”
There is also a real and significant difference between having high expectations and having high aspirations. It is alright to have high aspirations and really go for something, but you always have to manage your own (and other people’s) expectations and be prepared to get something wrong. If you have a high expectation that something will work out for you the first time that you try it, you may soon find out that this is often unrealistic and you then will feel probably even more disappointed with the result, even if it was only slightly off what you had hoped for.
It may even be serendipity in hindsight that something did not go the way that you wanted the first time, as something better was waiting for you around the corner. As people say: “Be careful what you wish for.”
You can only see things through your own eyes anyway and not through other people’s eyes. Remember, not everyone is like you or thinks like you. You therefore have to find out what works for you through trial and error, as what works for one person does not always work for another person and just because something works for somebody else, doesn’t mean that it will work for you. You also often need to experiment with doing new things in different ways, until you eventually find what really works for you. There is no simple or single solution to things, as there are so many different ways of doing things.
Also, not everyone can do everything, so just try to be the best version of yourself, rather than trying to be somebody else. At least, try to be a better version of yourself, if you can. In fact, just aim to get 1% better every day! Also, if you do start comparing yourself with others, you will again feel disappointed, as there will always be other people who are better than you at something.
Finally, try to quickly accept situations for what they are and not what you want them to be. Realise that some days will be good, but some days will be bad. You just have to just hope that the good outweighs the bad, or try to and bring the bad day to a close and get rid of it and then try and make the next day a good day!
So, this week, just try to realise that things do not usually work out the first time for you and be willing to try again.
Remember, you’re also just human!




