18 July 2022

I believe that everything needs to be balanced in life. I also believe that you can’t neatly separate what seems positive in life, from what seems negative in life, because some negative things come out of positive things and some positive things come out of negative things! This week’s thought continues my thoughts on boundaries and valuing time, as strange as those connections may at first seem!
There are usually four main things that you need to balance in life: 1 – your family; 2 – your friends; 3 – your work and 4 – your spiritual self or your life’s philosophy. I have deliberately made sure that ‘work’ is not the first priority though, as life is also made up of these other things that are important to you. So, realistically, there are these four sides that you always need to make sure that you balance in your life.
Therefore, for example, work is only one side to your life, which can then be valued at only about 25%. So, although work sometimes feels that it is the most important priority in your life, as it provides financial income which, if you are a parent, means that you or your family then have the stability that you need now or later to survive, you also have these other sides to balance in your life as well.
The paradox with work is that, unless you financially sustain things, you may not feel able to dedicate your time to the other things that you need to do or balance in your life, so it ends up in a vicious circle! But that is where we often go wrong, as we get tied up in knots in our head trying to figure out a solution to this problem, without realising that it cannot be solved with a purely ’thinking’ approach.
Remember how I talked previously about the difference between the brain and the mind and I said that the brain is more logical and the mind is more emotional. Well, this theme also applies here, because to properly approach this problem (please note that I didn’t say ’solve this problem’), you need to see things more emotionally than logically. This is where balance comes in.
It often comes down to balancing what you need to do for yourself and what you need to do for others, so that you balance your interests with theirs. But it also comes down to autonomy and how you actively choose to spend your time, Also, you must always allocate proper time to your family, your friends and your spiritual/philosophical side, not just allocate time to them as a tick-box exercise.
But remember, in any relationship (especially with family) you need to always consider the other person’s priorities and sometimes even put them above your own, even things that motivate you or drive you forward. You also need to identify where you spend your time during the day or week, because sometimes there may be spare time you identify, which you can actually allocate better elsewhere.
You must also use time effectively; so you may need to set a fixed time of day, week, month or even time of year to do something; perhaps collecting or grouping lots of small or menial things to do or sort at the same time every day, week or month, making time for relaxing every day or week, or even doing irregular things, like taking a holiday or break. Don’t try to balance or do everything at once though.
Finally, there will always be unforeseen things. You can only use a time-plan as a guideline, but this will help you see how much time you have for things and re-balance if you need to. I also realise that this can sometimes feel theoretical because when you ‘work’ for somebody else, you have to balance your priorities with their priorities, you not only need to consider your own priorities.
So, this week, step back and re-balance things in your life. Also, set yourself time, preferably at the beginning of every day or every week when you are more relaxed, to look at things again. You may be surprised at how, before you re-balanced, things of a higher priority sometimes had the least time applied to them and things of a lower priority sometimes had the most time applied to them!




