19/6/2023

This week I want to talk about doing something because you want to do it, not just doing it because you feel that you have to do it out of obligation, which is a very complex emotion.
The feeling of obligation is a sense of duty or responsibility towards something or someone. It arises from social, cultural, moral, or personal expectations. Whatever the reason, obligation often leads to a lack of enjoyment, stress, guilt, or resentment.
It’s common to do things we feel obliged to. Maybe we feel guilty if we don’t do them, or we do them to impress others. But it’s essential to see the difference between doing something because we feel that we have to and doing it because we genuinely want to.
Doing something because we genuinely want to is a choice, so is therefore always more enjoyable. If invested, the experience is also more meaningful and fulfilling. But when we do it out of obligation, it always feels like a chore and we don’t put our heart into it.
For example, if you feel compelled to attend a social event, just because you think it’s the right thing to do, you may not have a great time there. On the other hand, if you attend it because you genuinely want to, you will probably enjoy yourself much more.
The most common example of obligation is having a sense of duty towards family or friends. Although from a sense of loyalty, love, or responsibility, it can lead to neglecting your own needs, if you feel obliged to help people, even if sacrificing your own time or resources.
And the feeling of obligation can also arise from personal standards or goals that we set ourselves. For example, we may feel obliged to achieve certain professional or personal milestones, even if they come at a high cost, which leads to disappointment.
It is also important to distinguish healthy and unhealthy obligation. Healthy obligation involves responsibility towards others or oneself. But unhealthy obligation leads to guilt, resentment and harms relationships. You can also feel trapped or powerless.
And sometimes we must do things that we don’t want to do, like fulfilling work responsibilities or caring for loved ones. Also, doing something is not only for personal enjoyment. Important obligations may also not bring immediate joy or fulfilment.
So, this week, if you find yourself doing something out of obligation, take a pause and try to do it because you genuinely want to do it. By doing so, you might find now a new passion or a renewed sense of purpose for doing it!




