7th February 2022

This week I want to talk again about time, as I want to now try to get you to recognise that it is impossible to do everything that you want to do in life, because there are always infinite possibilities of things that you can do.
You must choose carefully what you want to do and then spend your (finite) time deliberately doing it. But you must also first work out what you want to do, so that you prioritise what you do, in order to be ultimately fulfilled. Otherwise, you just end up feeling sad or guilty for not doing everything that you want, by kidding yourself that you can do everything, leaving you inevitably disappointed.
We often hear about the feeling of ‘FOMO’ – the fear of missing out. But we need to get rid of this and replace it with the feeling of ‘JOMO’ – the joy of missing out! In fact, it is actually quite liberating when you realise that you just cannot do everything that you want in life, as you then have to force yourself to see things practically and decide whether or not they are realistic, or just fantasies.
I am not trying to pour cold water on anybody’s dreams here – dreams are good for us, as they motivate us and spur us on to greater things. But it is so important to realise first though if something that you want to do can be done properly, or even at all, within the time available to you.
It is well-known to try and explain the concept of time-management by telling the rocks, pebbles and sand story, which goes something like this:
“A teacher once stood before his class with a large empty jar. He filled the jar to the top with big rocks and then asked his students if the jar was full. The students agreed that the jar was full.
The teacher then added small pebbles to the jar and gave it a shake, so that the pebbles could disperse themselves among the larger rocks. Then he asked his students again if the jar was full. The students agreed that the jar was still full.
The teacher then poured sand into the jar to fill up any remaining empty spaces and asked his students again if the jar was full. The students now agreed that the jar was completely full.
The teacher then explained that the jar represented everything in a person’s life and how, if you start with putting sand in the jar first, you do not have room for rocks or pebbles and how this also holds true with things that you let into your life, since if you spend all of your time on the small and insignificant things, you then run out of room for the big things that may actually be more important.”
Yet, I actually think that this metaphor, whilst right, is also wrong! In my view, this is because this story starts one step too late, as it is not just about filling up the jar and trying to fit everything into it, it is about deciding whether or not you actually have too many rocks, pebbles and sand to put in the jar in the first place and then prioritising and therefore deciding beforehand what you want to put in the jar!
‘Parkinson’s Law’ says that work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. However, whilst I agree with this, what I am saying is different, as it isays that, as you do not have time to do everything, you must first decide and prioritise what you want to do. It’s so easy to think of Parkinson’s Law as negative, but you can flip it positively, to just focus on doing what is really important to you.
Finally, I know how we often hear something like this, but then say that we haven’t got time to do it now, so will do it later when we have time. Or we say that it is something that we should have done before, so might as well put it off now until later. So, let me remind you of that lovely saying by Confucius who said: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, but the second best time to plant it is now.”
So, this week, try to think about what I have said above to feel relieved and accept that you cannot do everything that you want to do, then prioritise what you want to do. You should now find that it is easier to be more realistic about how you choose to spend your time.”




