21st February 2022

Make your goals more general and create new habits, as creating a healthy habit is far better than setting yourself a big specific goal to reach – also, try to be as realistic as possible when setting new habits or goals.
I heard someone say that over 90% of New Year’s resolutions that people make are usually broken within the first few weeks of the year. But thinking of something only once a year that you want to change in your life for the better should not just be a New Year’s resolution, since why would you want to try to do something which is highly likely to end up in failure? Also, you need to always try to recognise if you are being a bit over-optimistic in setting new goals or habits.
We are all creatures of habit and get used to doing things in certain ways. Although people often say that it usually takes about 21 days to create a new habit, I have noticed that sometimes it can actually often take a few months, but it can also take just a few days! (Another paradox I’m afraid). If you feel that you can change things for the better, you should always try to do things differently as soon as you can. But first you need to work out what you need to do and also if you should do it at all. People also like to say: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”.
It is also better to take time to properly reflect on things over time and make changes at other significant points during your year, such as on your birthday, or when you have more time, such as when you take a holiday (where you think about something perhaps that you know that you can only do on your return to daily life). It is even better to try and make changes in the moment as soon as you think of them, rather than waiting for later, when you feel more expectation and pressure.
You often have to step away from a problem to see it clearly and then solve it or work out what you need to do. You may even need to clarify your thinking from time-to-time in a sort of personal retreat (which may even be just sitting in a garden or park by yourself), where you are less stressed and more objective and can then think about something more fully. You also have to ask yourself sometimes if you are actually agonising over something that, in reality, you cannot do anything about.
Making small changes to behavioural patterns constantly throughout the year are also more likely to stick with you. It is about consistency when it comes to changing a behavioural pattern successfully. Also, if you try something new or different, but then find that it does not work for you the first time that you try it, unless it is already clear by then that it is not a good idea, you should usually just try it again until it gets better.
Also, look at yourself critically and review things from time to time. I heard somebody say that it is simple to do this, as you just ask yourself three questions: “What should I start doing?”, “What should I stop doing?” and “What should I keep doing?” If you ask yourself the right questions, the answer usually comes quickly, often amazes you at its simplicity and can often lead to a lifelong change.
It is also very normal to be afraid of something new, but remember people often say that the fear of something is worse than the thing itself! You will have an internal dialogue about things that you are thinking about, so if you find that something is constantly on your mind, try to deal with it as soon as possible and, if you cannot do it there and then, record it in some way to do later (such as by writing it down or recording it as a voice memo).
But remember, changing a habit can often be stressful. Stress is an inevitable part of your day, as you are running from one thing to another and consequently so busy that you do not have the time sometimes to just stop and think about how you can make your life better or easier by perhaps creating a new habit or routine – it is a bit circular I am afraid!
So, this week, please think about whether there is something in your life that you can create a new habit for to improve it, which may then help you reach a new goal that you want, rather than just thinking of the goal itself. One little change usually leads to another little change and so on and so forth so, before you know it, all these little changes may then add up to a big change in your life, without you even realising it!




