25 April 2022

This week I want to talk to you about ‘thinking’ again, but rather than talking to you about thinking about other people, this week I want to talk to you instead about the need for you to first think about yourself, before you can think about others.
Unfortunately, we now live in a society where we have developed a paradox, where on the one hand, so many people now only seem to think just about themselves, whereas on the other hand, we have also developed this idea that thinking about yourself is really about being a selfish narcissist. Whilst we should always think about helping others, this sometimes misses the point (please do not think here that I am saying that you should not think of others, far from it). It is just that you must look inwards first, before you can look outwards.
I am not saying that you should think that you are better than other people, but if you really want to help them, you need to put yourself first, before you can genuinely help others. It is a bit like being in an aeroplane experiencing difficulties and losing air pressure in the cabin where you are a passenger, you always need to put your own oxygen mask on first, before you can think about putting one on others. You also have to do things in this order, for things to work out properly.
Similarly, it is important to always put yourself at the top of any todo list that you make everyday. Ironically, if you take time to do this, rather than feeling like you are doing something extra and unnecessary that will only take up more of your valuable time, you will usually find that you actually get through everything else on your list, because you have first invested in yourself and thereby created the energy that you then need to help others properly.
For example, making time for proper sleep for yourself so that you are then less stressed and more relaxed, or making time for yourself to do all the little things that you have to do everyday to make yourself feel more productive, or just making time to do the meaningful things in your life that you want to do, so that you then feel good about yourself. Do not worry or think that you are wasting time by spending time on yourself, as you also need to learn to give yourself time to also think and relax, even if it feels lazy!
You also have to believe in your own worthiness and sometimes you may need to also remind yourself of how worthy you are, as it may not come naturally. And sometimes you also have to believe in yourself more than what you believe that other people think of you! Unfortunately, our thoughts are so easily distorted about ourselves, not only by others, but usually by ourselves.
But do not become preoccupied with yourself. Drop your ego wherever you can and you will usually find that you are then unburdening yourself by doing this and things will then feel better to you in the long run. You also have to do something because you enjoy it, not just because you think that there is a purpose in doing it. Sometimes, again paradoxically, doing something without a purpose in mind, is actually having a purpose!
Try to make it easier on yourself by doing things in advance wherever you can, so that you do not need to do them again later, thereby making it easier for yourself in the future. And be a ‘do-er’ not just a ‘talk-er’. There is no point talking about doing something and just thinking about doing it, but then not actually doing it!
Finally, always try to be deliberate in your actions and know that it is also very important to reflect on what you do later, so that you can improve yourself if you do the same, or a similar, thing again. Remember also, human beings never make decisions that make sense, they make sense of the decisions that they make!
So, this week, try to think about helping yourself more before you think about helping others and make time for yourself first before helping others, so that you can then do them as best you can. You may be surprised how consciously doing things in this way, both helps you and helps others in a better way!




