27 June 2022

Things always get blurred if they are not made very clear to ourselves and others. This week is a continuation of what I said last week about boundaries, but this week I want to expand on this topic a bit, not only relating it to time, but also first relating it to people.
Remember, as I have said before, people are different and always see things differently, but that doesnāt mean that they are wrong and we are right! Boundaries are important, but so is mutual respect, where people respectfully acknowledge the differences between them and do not blur lines. But people with different views, say because of race, religion, politics, generation, etc., seem to now have gone too far and either think they are right and everyone else is wrong, or confuse things, so that boundaries are blurred.
Many people now forget how to politely agree to disagree with each other about something, or recognise boundaries between them and other people. It really amazes me how disrespectfully people now talk to each other sometimes. Respect not only includes for family and friends, but also for people that we may come across, who we may not know personally, but who we may feel that we somehow do. But not only do we blur lines between people, we also blur lines for ourselves over our times to do things.
Last week I focused on differences between personal and work time, but this week, I want to show you how it is also about finding the right balance. Sometimes, it is not as simple as finding the right balance between personal time and work time, it is also sometimes about finding the right balance between the many other things that we need to do.
We most often run out of time to do things, because we are just trying to do too much. We therefore need to first work out boundaries for our time and also the priority and order that we do things.
Remember, the word āpriorityā is singular, you can only have one priority at a time, you cannot have lots of priorities at the same time (although you can have many things to prioritise at different times).
Often it is easier to put things that you need to do in a calendar (whether paper or digital), so that you can clearly then see the things that you need to do and when you need to do them. This way, if they do not fit in, you know that you are being unrealistic and are trying to do too much. You can also colour code things, so that what you need to do is then very clear visually to both you and others.
But remember, always put in extra time for doing things (estimate the time for doing it, then double it!) Or put spaces of time in-between things to allow for run over, or to switch gear mentally when transitioning. Just as you have a sorbet in between courses during a meal to cleanse your palate and to taste new flavours, you need something different between things to refocus – like a sorbet for the mind!
Finally, there is also a difference between spending ātimeā and spending āquality timeā. You may feel that you achieve the same with both, but quality time is much better for you in the long run. This is because quality time is usually doing something properly, which you may otherwise need to do again, or investing properly in a future relationship. Whereas, just doing something for the sake of it is really just something for you to be able to tick off on your own checklist, so that you feel better or more productive.
There is also another paradox here. When you spend quality time doing something or with others, you always have a little nagging voice in your head saying that you should spend more time doing something else, but when you spend your time doing something else, you always have that little nagging voice in your head saying that you should spend more time doing what you were doing. You cannot win!
So, this week, make it clear to yourself and others what you need to do and also balance the people in your life and their views, even if they are very different from yours. Also try and see the difference between time and quality time. You will hopefully find that there is a real difference!




